2024 / 2023

21/12 - same song on repeat 12 hours straight. eating too much or not at all. pressing the back of my teeth with my tongue, clenching my jaw at night. i feel like i'm boiling over, yet i'm so, so tired. i want to ask when it will all be over, but i know the answer already.

i'm not crying, you're crying (Tsumihoroboshi edition)

American tterroristt - RXKNephew
W3schools - learn to code HTML, CSS, JavaScript, Python, SQL

12/12 - holidays are the worst time of the year because i am constantly expending all of my mental capacity trying to convince myself that suicide is bad. i believe my own thoughts less and less each day, but i think the point of living is to teter on the edge of being just delusional enough to fit in, and not so delusional that you alienate yourself from the general population.

Everything Should Try Again - Jason Molina
Tsukihime - web based version of the hit visual novel Tsukihime

28/11 - nothing super interesting to post. want to go on more hikes. took these photos on the weekend.

Ricochet - Lil Ugly Mane
A Maquina Silenciosa (The Silent Machine) - Silent Hill 2 in-depth analysis and fan theory

21/11 - overthinking and rarely leaving my house outside of work is increasingly getting the better of me need to make more of an effort, but most days i feel too mentally preoccupied to plan anything.

"... the modern poet is not a seer or public spokesman, like Victor Hugo, Wordsworth, or Pope, but a social misfit, a poète maudit, cursed and ostracized because of his committment to poetry" (excerpt from Paris Spleen, by Charles Baudelaire)

SLEEPKNOT - OBLADAET
Photopea - free online editor supporting PSD, XCF, Sketch, XD and CDR formats

09/11 - i've seen this section of words from Leif K-Brooks posted everywhere, so i'm doing my part as well:

Snowblind (2014 Remaster) - Black Sabbath
Strobist - photography lighting 101

07/11 - sundried brain. something about how i am spending my time on the internet lately feels empty and alienating. hollow algorithmic posting, "content creators", influencers grifting. the internet should exclusively be for non-monetary fuckery and 2007 era drug forums.

i want to become as unpalettable as possible. i miss my Blogspot, my intentional and slow form email penpals. i miss all the places i've felt comfortable interacting with people online. i can no longer keep up mentally.

Aneurysm - Thou
Analog.Cafe - film/camera reviews, photo essays, etc